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Carly Alyssa Thorne
I have been asked my entire life why and how I am so positive, have this much energy, passion etc... So here is a bit of the why...
Who is Carly Alyssa Thorne and how did she get here ???
The Journey Called My Life of SOS... to CAT...
Yes, this is long, and... If You Choose to take the Journey with me, I promise you, you will have many "Aha" moments. You will get the reason why I am all about Transformations of the Mind, Body, Business and Spirit... and why I live to empower, motivate, inspire and educate myself and others each and every day.
The outcome I am seeking for you to have after you read this journey is:
For you to choose you today and...
To be able to say to yourself... Yes, I can
I can have a healthy mind-body-spirit and business
I can create a team to support me and I can support others
I can stand in my power and be strong and still be compassionate
To be in gratitude for my each and every day
To forgive self and others
To reach out and get the help and or education necessary for you to thrive
To look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself each and every day:
You are Loved
You are Appreciated
You are Worthy
You are Beautiful
Then to be able to take this out to the world and say this to others.
I will not be mentioning any full names or places to honor people's privacy. I am thankful and grateful to a select few, yes few... that came to my side and helped me to find the light in my time of need and much darkness... You find out real quickly who your true friends are in the darkest of times, you also find out how amazingly strong, resilient and powerful you can be, when given the right tools and having the right team-tribe and or support system in place to help guide you along the way.
What we focus on in life expands, thus I have always used my story, my past as a teaching beacon, and a way to help others get thru the maze of darkness and into the light. At the end of any and all tunnels of darkness and pain, there is light, we just have to be willing to sit with, feel and look for it. Below is a picture of my own shadow I took on a golf course when I was living in Palm Springs with the sun shining brightly upon me.
I share not for your pity, not to stay in the past, or dwell on it. I am extremely grateful for my past, it has made me into the strong, passionate, compassionate, healthy, giving, person I am today...
I was born in Yonkers, NY in 1964 with the birth given name of the initials of SOS... This was very symbolic of my childhood and my life growing up. I was always seeking help, in trouble, confused, and dismayed with life. I had many health, family and relationship problems...Today, I wouldn't call them problems, I would call them lessons of self discovery and growth, which all starts with the choice to choose to learn and ultimately grow.
I left the United States when I was 5 years old and then went on to live in Mexico, Venezuela and Brazil until the age of 14. I returned to the U.S. in 9th grade of High School and from there lived all over NY State, NJ and Beyond... A total of 9 schools just getting through High School.
The issues and or stories my young self felt and created:
Repeated travel, made it difficult to make friends
At schools you were always the new one, the outsider
Repeated verbal, sexual, emotional and physical abuse
Developed severe Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome
Multiple health issues
Coming back to a new culture, moving back to the US in High School, being put in a public school system for the first time, in my entire life, after being raised overseas in private catholic schools.
The young adult thru adulthood lessons up till today and beyond that I work on each and every day and choose to do so for the rest of my life:
Standing up for oneself
Forgiving self and others
Being in gratitude for my each and every day
Having clearing conversations with people
Be open and vulnerable
Taking down the armor
Realizing the power of tribe, collaboration
That we are all one-interconnected
Truly and fully listening to another
Developing compassionate passionate communication
Living from a place of love-peace-gratitude
Developing conscious business collaborations
Tapping into the multi-sensory self and world
Being open to all feedback no matter what that feedback is and not reacting-defending, just being with
and choosing what to do with it.
That we all have the power to affect the ripple effect: race, gender, finances, and or education is not a barrier to reaching out in whatever way feels right for another, we each no matter how small or big can make a difference in this world, one step, one person at a time.
I am thankful and beyond grateful for the journey of much travel, yet as a youth, I was angry, in crisis mode all of the time and sooo not thankful. Today, all of that travel has made me an individual that is able to ebb and flow and adapt to any given environment or situation and to be able to think on my Feet... It has given me the respect and knowledge of the many different cultures and to acknowledge all beings as individuals, yet the same on a soul level.
I look at coaching, mentoring, teaching as one must come from a place of authentic experience in order to truly help someone on a deep level. How can someone help you about certain things unless they themselves have experienced similar issues? Your experience is unique yes, however; at least someone can empath, understand, if they themselves have experienced it, to their own degree in their own life. I am saying this because, as thankful and grateful as I am for my life, it was by far an easy path. I look back now and realize the path I was on was one of strength, understanding, and compassion, for myself and others, and to be able to use my gifts to help others get out of their own maze of darkness as I did.
To choose life, to say yes to life, to say yes I am bigger than any of this. Everything has beauty, even within the darkness, if we can be willing to feel and look for the light. Having grown up with severe sexual, verbal and physical abuse to the extend that at one time I was on social security disability and had severe PTSD-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I get how strong and powerful we are and can be if we choose it and want it badly enough. I went through years of treatment and was on many western medicines, even hospitalized over 4 times, twice for suicide attempts. I had repeated weight problems from anorexia 95 lbs, which, with my frame- which is big boned, and athletic is not good, to bulimia and overweight of a breaking point of 200 lbs. I went thru this cycle 3x.
To add to all of this my mother had German Measles when she was pregnant with me, and they told her to abort me because I might have this or that etc... She didn't and Thank God, as I am here...
I have countless doctors, teams, mentors, say to me OMG, how in the heck are you alive, passionate, etc...
and OMG, you are such a powerful warrior, you never ever give up.
Starting at the age of 16 entering into serious dysfunctional relationships... Leading to 3 Marriages the first beginning when I was 18 to continue the abuse cycle from my childhood as I knew no different and the 4th marriage which was beyond abusive to the point I almost died and my husband committing suicide in 1998.
To top it all off, I was riddled with medical problems since I was born and I stopped counting after I hit surgery #17, for medical reasons all within 15 years. In total now 32 surgeries as of 1/2016 in a lifetime...
Further self study into the Mind, Body, Spirit connection and body memories would prove that some of this was my attempt of removing the pain and memories from my body that was riddled with fear and pain all of the time. My body created all sorts of medical problems - very poor eye sight, depression, severe endometriosis, advanced degenerative joint bone disease in all major joints etc... etc... etc...I am NOT saying they weren't legitimate surgeries they were all for real things, and quite a few were emergency surgeries where I almost died. What I am saying is we are powerful beyond measure to the degree we want to thrive not just survive. One of my key lessons in massively studying Western and Eastern medicine and philosophies is they both serve a purpose and have a place.
I realized years later as I went thru years and layers of self-discovery and The Mind, Body, Spirit inter-connection that I created much of the disease in my body... A way to deal with and cope with all of the fear, anger, sadness my inner child felt and created a life and story around that. And at that time the unwillingness to truly forgive self and others for everything that I experienced, felt, went thru, ate away at the core of my being and affected my mind-body-business and spirit.
The Ultimate breaking point and the breaking of the cycle and the big life "AHA" moment came when my late husband died-committed suicide in 1998. I had a major choice to make - Do I choose life? Death? Hate? Guilt? Take on the blame everyone was throwing at me? Become the victim? Become and stay a hardened, unfeeling shell?
I smiled and laughed a lot, I was great at facial masks... I had always been the body builder, the healer, healing others, picking partners that needed to be saved. I had never truly saved or healed myself though, until that one fated day, when I finally choose me-life... I choose: life, gratitude, thanks, forgiveness, help, empowerment, lessons, love of self and others +++ ?
My late husband was my biggest gift, my biggest lesson. I Thank him immensely for that gift of choice and for waking up my ass. Trust me when I tell you the choice in that moment, was not easy... I had to stand alone, strong, let go of all places, things, old friends, family members, the STORIES... Stand up to and face the past, stand up to family members and stand firm for choosing me-life... and.... also take full responsibility for my Part in the allowing of the co-creation and participation of it all...
I had to be willing to expose all of my skeletons, fears, failures, of the past, even my own demons, and errors to self and others. I had to be willing and brave enough to face my own stories and stuff. I had to be willing to show up, not care what others thoughts of me, let go of all judgements of self and others. Hiding and playing small was no longer an option for me...
Now does all of this mean wow she is saved, done lol.. OMG no, we will always be learning, failing, discovering etc.. The only difference between then and now, is I work on myself each and every day, I am aware of my pot holes and catch myself in the could of, should of, try, but behavior and in the moment I catch myself, it is
time to make a new decision and re-committment to self love and love of life and others.
Another defining choice point, hiding behind a 200lb frame was no longer an option. Going from 95 to 200, 3x was not an option my body nor I could do anymore. Below is 2 of the transitions, the biggest I ever got was 200 after 2 yrs of hell with my husband who committed suicide. My pattern would be, when I felt safe I would be fit, confident, bold, with a muscular armor, when things would start to fall apart I would retreat to a self-loathing cocoon of fear and anger.
My other huge "Aha" and Awakening to how truly precious life is and how short it can be was when I used to work at the WORLD TRADE CENTER I was a Wellness-Fitness Consultant and Trainer. I was one of their specialized medical trainers, meaning I dealt with the clients that had major medical issues. I still have my locker keys and pen with company and WTC logo, WOW... what a day... Talk about a wake up call.
I was on my way to work that day, my client had called the night before to cancel our session, choosing to take one more vacation day to relax at his beach house. So, I went to work one hour later because of that. I was at the train station when the towers got hit. Normally, when my client cancelled in the past I would have still gone in early and gotten in a good training session for myself.
So yes, I am extremely thankful and grateful to be alive, healthy, and happy.
So then becomes the question, I get asked all of the time, so how in the hell did you do it?
Well, first I had to make some HUGE life changing decisions. I had to let go of the people, places, and things that I was surrounded by that were negative and kept me bound to the things and experiences that supported my old outdated beliefs about who I was and what I could or could not have, be and do. And, like I talk about in the others articles I have written, I am constantly learning, playing, and growing each and every day. I Choose to be around positive, happy, healthy, abundant minded people, places and things...
Taking many self-development courses, reading, studying, pushing myself out of my comfort zone like
eating fire, walking on hot coals etc...
I listen, read, take courses on things that expand my Mind, Body, Business and Spirit. I Nourish myself with positive, inspiring, spiritual, conscious people, place, and things. I have kept my weight off +/- 10 over the years, and yes I am human, when I get off course I know get back on course with intention and purpose.
I have good healthy collaborative co-creational friendships, the world, the universe is my family. I Surround myself with amazing and inspiring teachers, mentors, leaders and just awesome passionate, powerful souls every chance I get. I surround myself everyday, every minute as often as I can with positive, healthy, and abundant minded people and situations. And when I say abundant, I am not just talking $$$... I have had a lot of money and have lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. I have also re-created abundance in many forms. Money only makes you more of what you already are. If You were miserable before money, more money is only going to make you more miserable. My lesson around was keeping it, because I had such low self worth, I would spend it all on others and just give it all away. I was the ultimate giver so I thought, buying everything for everyone. Yet little did I know my other huge "Aha" was that because of the low self esteem my spending on others was my covert way of buying people's love and of being approved of. Ahhhhh... I also learned I wasn't truly open to receiving because I didn't think I deserved it. It wasn't until I started to shift that consciousness and be open to receiving did things start to turn around.
The now is is currently where we are... Of course I want to leave this earth-planet better than I Found it... And, I want to do massive good while I am alive... Hence I am a huge believer in Paying It Forward (A hand up thru education-empowerment-motivation-skills-collaborations), not a hand out and The Ripple Effect.
I now choose each and every day when I wake up to live my life with as much spunk, vigor, happiness, health and abundance as I can with self and others.
So I am asking you to Choose You Today and to come from a place of thinking that every day is a re-birth day where you get to wake-up and create the possibilities of a new you via your attitude, action-steps and collaboration with others. Think of life like a play, where you are playing and being all of the characters.
My Daily Mottos of being and creating possibilities are:
Do it, Delegate it, or Delete it
Learning, Playing and Growing
Creative Conscious Co-Creations
Team work is what makes the dreams work
Conscious Business Collaborations
Life is like a play
Compassionate Passionate Communications
Love, Peace, Gratitude
Artistry in Motion
Multi-Sensory, Multi-Media Creations
Thanks for taking the Journey with me. I hope in reading some of my journey, I inspired you in some way.
One of my favorite things to end with is inspiring others to realize that every day is a Re-Birth Day.
So many blessings to you and to your venture of a new re-birth day in creating the you, you want to be-do-become.
Post date: 2016-03-23 17:04:22
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